Escaping the Id

The subconscious, instincts, the darker side of yourself…the id. When we dream, our subconscious mind takes over. When you realize you are dreaming and develop a level of control over what you are dreaming about, it’s known as lucid dreaming.

I lucid dream often enough, but it seems that the more I do, the more my subconscious likes to fight back. My unconscious mind wants to be in control of my dreams, and it doesn’t like when I consciously  change things up. Previously, I have had issues with controlling my dreams when I am aware that I am asleep and the landscape would fight my own desires. Last night though, things were amplified, and my dreams seemed to be actively working against me. I literally had my Id chasing me in the form of angry people that were trying to set up my initial dream. 

Bear with me, because this dream follows a lot of nonsensical transitions and odd explanations, it might be hard to follow. I’ll try to explain it out in the simplest ways.

The dream starts out as a typical dream with a basic plot. My fiance (R), his brothers, and I were driving to our apartment. One of his brother’s was thirsty, but instead of waiting until we got home or found a gas station, R pulled over to this set of condos. He said that he knew the people that lived there, and that they wouldn’t mind if we walked in for some water. I  did not feel comfortable with this, because I didn’t know whose place this was. Reluctantly, I followed them through the unlocked door into the condo.

After getting something to drink from the kitchen, the boys mulled around, talking and looking around, unbothered by being in a stranger’s home when they themselves were absent. I began getting restless and suggested that we leave before the people came home. I approach the front door, only to see some woman on the porch, fumbling for her keys, unaware that there were people in her home. Behind her, was an older woman that appeared to be her mother.  I got this overwhelming sensation that something either violent or spooky was going to happen the moment they opened that door. Scared and annoyed with my fiance and his brothers, I felt out the back door before the “climax” started.

 

splitrail
Used to have these fences at my parent’s house

I stopped  about a block over, which contained some older homes, and in frustration, I kicked a wooden fence that outlined the property of one of the houses. It was one of those fences that had two wooden beams that were nestled into holes in the supporting poles in the ground.  They are more of a decorative thing and are easy to break and fix, and the top beam fell out when I kicked it. An old man appears and tells me to fix it. I apologize and put the beam back. He stares at me for a long time and says:

“ You really need to get back where you came from. You’re story isn’t over yet.” He pointed in the direction of the condo I had just escaped from. The second he said story, I realized I was dreaming.

“But I don’t want to. That story was going to turn bad, and I have had too many unhappy and bizarre dreams lately. I want to have a good dream.”

“Well, it doesn’t always work out that way kid. I suggest you just return before…”

As he said this, the young woman that owned the condo and her mother were at the end of the street, yelling at me to come back and rapidly approaching me when I didn’t move. I booked it away from them. Because my mind was now in a panic mode, I noted how the scene warped around me, changing from a suburban setting to a towering city. I ran through the setting in a frenzy, trying to escape my own subconscious, which I knew was continuing to chase me. The people in the city were noticing my fear and also had began running in the same direction as I was. Not chasing, but running away with me. Wondering why a bunch of “dream people” would be running away, I ran alongside of one guy that looked like a mix between a famous actor and one of the managers that I worked at Wendy’s with years ago. I started talking to him as we ran.

“Did you know you look like Ryan Reynolds and –”

“Someone you know,” he interrupted “Yes. Yes. I know. Can you tell me exactly what we are running from?”

“My subconscious.”

He actually stopped running. Apparently, this was not the answer he had been expecting.  I stopped with him. I don’t understand his reaction as he is just another facet of my mind’s creation.  However, like my doppleganger dream, this dream brought me to a mind-blowing discussion.This guy explained to me that he is apart of a race of beings that live in dream, to create a more realistic experience to the dreamer. They are always the background characters in dreams. Their faces are all based on commonly seen (famous) people  and will shift slightly to mesh with a face the dreamer is familiar with. He explained that the brain is too busy creating so much detail in dreams that his race of dream people filled in the spaces. They were supposed to keep low and either not speak or have minimal interaction with the dreamer. He said that he was breaking a taboo by speaking to me too much. He also said that trying to escape my subconscious mindset without being “permitted” (whatever the hell that means!) to be lucid dreaming. He said that my Id must be very angry with me because of the level of fear it was affecting the behavior of his race and the fact that it was literally chasing me.

Wanting to learn more, but also realizing the danger quickly approaching, I grabbed him by the hand and practically dragged him with me. Another “dream person” with dark skin and beautiful, natural hair happily joined us. She reflected one of my college friends and someone else that I can’t place at the moment, and was much more interested in trying to help me escape my Id than the man. (Side note: I realized that they both had names that they addressed each other as, but no sound came out when they said them.)

I tried to warp the world around me like I am able to do in a fully lucid dream, but with every try

metro_2033__the_crumbling_city___2__by_mozerman-d6b325f
More like a mix between a decaying city and Inception bullshit, but you get the point.

the landscape started crumbling/ shifting in ways that made things harder rather than easier. Finally, I was able to summon a flying hovercraft on the roof of one of the crumbling buildings.  We were able to escape the city.

As we drove away, the city disappeared, replacing the world with a seaside factory. On a whim, I chose to dive into the ocean in order to throw off my own subconscious (as many of my nightmares include deep oceans and tidal waves.) At this point, my dream friends abandoned ship and I was struggling to remain calm enough to stay underwater. I had to remind myself that because I was dreaming, that I could still breath in the ocean.  I also realized that I now had a little more control over my dream, and decided to continue hiding in a “pocket space.”

This is a little hard to explain, but when I do have awareness in my dreams, I have found pockets of space hidden in the dream’s landscape, like a secret hideout. The entrances to these hideouts are within the actual landscape; it could be some bricks, amongst some rocks, in a tree, etc… And each one is opened by either a hidden button or by rapping on the surface of the object in a certain pattern and/or order. I instinctually know where they are and how to open them.  I knew there was one on the surface of the factory. So I swam up to the factory (which was half on land and half in the water) and began rapping on the steamworkshop_guide_1407622415_guide_brandingwhite pipe. The pocket space opened up, leading to a living room-type space (as usual, these spaces are always nice and comfy.) I wanted to spend the remainder of the dream in my cozy space, but apparently my subconscious knows where they are too.

My space was invaded by a group of people (including the mother and daughter duo from earlier) who were determined to get my dream “back on track.” I lashed out, screaming how I didn’t want to dream anymore scary dreams for awhile and that I just wanted to enjoy my time asleep. I felt like having a child-like tantrum, and ran away out of another hidden entrance in the pocket space.

I found myself at the top of a snowy hill in the middle of winter. I was surrounded by children I knew in elementary school (most of which I had not seen since middle school.) Many were child versions of these “dream people”. They knew I was attempting to escape my Id, and were excited and eager to help. They handed me a toboggan to get me down the landscape faster so I could put the distance between the two parts of myself. Each of them njsleddingproduced their own sled and escorted me down the hill.

“You’ve gotten older!” one of my elementary classmates laughed as we whizzed past the world.

“Well, I know you have as well!”

“Not in your mind, I haven’t!”

I laughed and felt myself change into my childhood self.  The kids laughed at me because while I was able to change my appearance, my voice was my current one. Older, deeper. I joined in their laughter.

As the incline decreased, our sleds slowed and we knew we had to find help in order to continue moving. The entire scene was full of childhood whimsy, we asked many strange creatures for help. Finally, a talking fox named IPA (yes, like the type of beer) offed to help us to another landscape.

Then I woke up.

Uggghhh. Just when it was actually starting to be fun! For a moment, I had a dream that reflected the dreams I used to have (weird, but bright and cheery) instead of the darker ones that I have been having for the past few years. It’s like my dreams went through a gritty comic book reboot. For the most part, I don’t mind them… but damn, it was nice to have a moment of of pure innocent fun.

The pure strangeness of this dream in it epic proportions was both stressing and entertaining. I sat up in bed and pondered over it for several minutes, it was that interesting. I know I certainly wouldn’t mind talking to the “dream people” again.

Score: 9/10. My mind can be so creative sometimes. Escaping my subconscious? Neat!

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3 thoughts on “Escaping the Id

  1. […] Dream Score: Tolkien /10. Why Gandalf? Why Ian McKellen? Why “the Lord of the Rings” setup? Why not?! So, this dream took place around the same time that this  one did. And just a few months before I experienced possible astral projection.  2012 was apparently a very big year for me when it came to dreams. There is more to this entry, but I’ll put them in future posts. This was my first recorded meta dream — similar, yet totally different to Escaping the Id. […]

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