Magical Bedbugs and the Wrong Path

Dream 1: Let me start by saying that my friend (G) is not a messy person. He is not a neat freak, but he knows how to keep things clean and livable.

In the dream, I’m visiting G in his college dorm, (he choose to continue his education and get a second degree last year) along with some other friends I knew in college. We were all chilling, playing video games, and eating pizza.  G’s room was a mess, though. There were plates and used tissues on the floor and tables, and the bed was a mess of sheets, food, and bedbugs. I was so grossed out, and tried not to gag as everyone just seemed to ignore the mess. When I brought up the giant bed bugs, my friend just shrugged and pointed to the biggest one:

“I call that one Fred.”

“Why are you living in this filth?!” I finally cried out, not being able to remain polite any longer.

“Because the bedbugs are magical; the grant me wishes if I keep them in a habitat that they like.”

At this point, I thought G had suffered a psychotic break, and needed more than just help cleaning his dorm room, but all of our other friends nodded in agreement.

“I’ll show you!” he said, insisting that I sit on the bed. Everyone else sat down on his full sized mattress. After being coaxed to sit down, I cringed, afraid to move. “Fred, I want us to see the world.”

When he said this, the disgusting mattress became magically clean, and with a bubbly ‘pop’ we were in the sky, flying over a vast city. G’s mattress became a luxury magic carpet as were zoomed across the country.  I clung to the bed in horror and the ever-dramatic G sang A Whole New World from Aladdin.

Score: 4/10. Whut. Seriously, what even? I am never eating cauliflower crust pizza before bed again.

 

Dream 2:  My parent’s house (where  I spent my entire childhood) has a small shed in the backyard for the lawn mower and other garden equipment. On the far side of the shed, there is a very small canopy roof where we store wood.

In my dream, I was under this roof area, which was at least 10x the size as it is in reality. In front of me was a swinging ropes course, lots of vines and cables that were strung above a dark pit that should have been grass and pine needles. I was at the farthest point from the shed and I needed to get to it. There were two distinct paths; one was easy and carefree and the other was dangerous and near-impossible to manage, only I did not know which path was which.  One path steered closer to the side the family house was on, and the other reached away from it.

Knowing that I had to choose, I jumped at the one furthest from the house. Instantly, the scene around me developed a red hue and several of the ropes around me disappeared, leaving me with little opportunity to reach another rope.

In the center of the pit, the devil appeared, floating in midair. At least, he looked like a guy dressed as the devil for Halloween; he had red skin, a red onesie complete with a tail, and a plastic pitchfork. Even in my dream I would have found this funny, but I was over a bottomless pit, struggling for my life at the mercy of a being that could float — costume or no costume, it was still creepy.

The “devil” laughed with cartoonish dramatics as he danced in the air.

“Bet you wish that you’d taken the other path!” he cackled.

“No shit.”

Dream Score: 2/10. Stupid rope course. Stupid pit. Stupid shed. I did give the dream points for having a guy dressed as the devil, rather than actually looking like a realistic ruler of hell. Again, I blame the cauliflower pizza.

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